Past Tense

This morning, when she woke up her muscles were tight
her head was still spinning from events of last night
she checked under the pillow, & checked under the bed
but the shadow of a willow was alone, beside her head

it was a lengthy discussion, it was not another dream
he spoke english not russian & never heard her scream
other than these tiny things and some similar details
it felt like her worst nightmare and all that entails

"it was over, long ago, sorry i waited, i didn't know
quite how to say it, I thought you would guess but no
I'm not in love anymore" he said, a tone she deplored
"So do you understand and forgive me?" "Yes, but no."

The stress in her life had been building up for weeks
she's on a one-name basis with the tech support geeks
her car broke down tuesday, and then so did the train
she wore high-heels, the day that it happened to rain

She hasn't relaxed since sometime near new year's day
he said his feelings for his ex had not yet gone away
and as things turned out it looks like they never did
she found out last night this "ex" would have his kid

"it was over, long ago, i never hated but as you know
i'm much more jaded and under such stress that though
you love me dearly--" he droned, she listened wearily
"Can you understand and forgive me?" "Yes... but no!"

She wasn't very surprised and didn't really even snap
did what she was taught and kept emotions under wraps
paid attention to his words, heard herself past tense
figured out whither, wherefore and a bit about whence

She wasn't very surprised and didn't really even snap
she had gone beyond taut, she was drawn beyond tapped
tried to stay laid back, but found herself past tense
figured out whither, wherefore and a bit about whence 

"it was over, long ago" he berated "why didn't you go
when it was fated? Would've been for the best, but no
Nevermind who's to blame" he retreated, dog gone lame
"Will you understand and forgive me?" "Yes, but, no."